How I start writing a book

I can't guarantee it's the 'best' method...

I was chatting to a friend last night over a bottle of wine about how we write books. Generally, authors fall into two camps. There are ‘planners’ (who figure out the whole story beforehand) and ‘pantsers’ who dive right in, flying by the seat of their pants, so to speak. We discovered that both of us are pantsers. Neither of us can figure out the story before we’ve got stuck into writing it.

I’ve tried to plan the whole book so many times - because in theory it makes sense to know where you’re going. ‘In theory’ this means you won’t grind to a juddering halt at chapter ten and panic: what the heck happens now? You won’t stress, and find yourself running to Londis for cheap wine (well, you might), because at every point in the story you’ll know exactly what’s meant to happen.

*Consults plan* ‘Ah! I see that in chapter fifteen, Marge has coffee with Roger and they walk the dog together.’ *Dashes out Marge/Roger scene and then, satisfied with a job well done, wanders out to the garden to deadhead geraniums.*

Is writing a novel like this?

NO IT IS NOT.

At least, not if you’re a pantster. Because actually, you have no idea what Marge and Roger should do in chapter fifteen. Compare stamp collections? Share a cantaloupe melon? Tumble onto the sofa in a blaze of passion and totally mess up Roger’s collection of Soviet-era Russian stamps?

Anything can happen, and you’re the boss of it! That’s the joy. When you make it up as you go along, you just have to just see what happens.

For the more cautious minded, this might sound like a crackpot method - like setting off on holiday and arriving at the airport with no idea of where you’re going and whether you should have packed shorts and bikinis or a duffel coat.

I’ve tried to plan books - thinking it would make the process a breeze, like following a recipe. And I’m a total recipe follower. I can’t even make a decent puttanesca pasta without following instructions, step by step. I marvel at people who can throw capers and anchovies and parmesan around the kitchen, resulting in a delicious dish.

However, with writing I can’t follow steps. When I’ve tried to plan the whole story, it’s felt weird and faintly silly - like a child saying, ‘Right, so this lady is lonely because her husband has gone and then this nice man comes along to see her.’

I’ve tried telling a friend the basic plot upfront, just like this - only because they’ve asked, ‘So what’s your book about?’ And in one second they’ve glazed over and have that expression of, ‘Why did I ask? When is she ever going to stop?’

‘Oh, that sounds GREAT!’ they say, when they’ve been making a mental note to buy milk and moth repellent on the way home. ‘Can’t wait to read it,’ they fib, virtually comatose. Thank God she’s stopped going on about her stupid book!

Meanwhile, in the telling of my ‘idea’, I’ve realised just how crappy it is.

Instead, I like to start writing and see what comes out. I know it sounds risky. But it can also be fun and exhilarating to arrive in Greece in a duffel coat.

I’ve done it! you think, bounding off the plane. I have reached my destination! And you type ‘THE END’ and promptly collapse through heat exhaustion.

Obviously, other novel-writing methods are available.

Love,

Fiona xx

PS My brand new novel, ‘Tis the Damn Season, is out in less than three weeks. It’s for anyone who’s ever yearned to run away from Christmas, and you can preorder here!