I survived the 70s!

But I'm probably still poisoned inside...

I’ve just come back from what’s pretty much amounted to a couple of weeks at my dad’s. At 91 he’s needed some care (thankfully he is now on the mend). We haven’t spent this much unbroken time together since I was a child. Actually, perhaps ever - as a family we never had two-week holidays. It was a week in Scotland or Wales, which could be summed up like this:

* I know I’ve shared this picture before but I need very little excuse to trot out the old pissed-off-faced wind-lashed kagoul! So please humour me.

But this past fortnight we’ve had, shall we say, lots of quality time. And we’ve done the things Dad likes, and other things in the way that he likes. It’s been educational for me. I’ve been to the University of Dad! Here are some things I’ve learned.

The Moon is old hat - at least in scientific circles. We were watching an astronomy documentary (Dad loves astronomy) when the presenter blithely spouted this fact: ‘These days the Moon is regarded as pretty quaint and old fashioned.’

I was outraged! As a child of the 60s I still view the Moon through that lens - as wondrous and magical and possible made of cheese. I’m thinking the Moon landing, craters, the Clangers (were they on the Moon?), portable TVs shaped like astronauts’ helmets, David Bowie and Major Tom! I couldn’t wait until we were all eating dried up moon-type food from little foil packets.

Quaint? Old fashioned? Compared to what - Mars, which is frankly last-season red? Or Jupiter that’s basically a big ball of gas? I don’t think so.

The correct way to cook rice. I know I’ve written about this before but at Dad’s it’s a perennial issue. Mainly, when I’m at his place, I cook things in the way that I want to (i.e., the correct way). But with rice, it’s decreed that I must boil it for 13 minutes and then rinse it in boiling water as per instructions from Mrs Tang of the Liverpool Chinese restaurant where my student dad washed dishes in 1953.

In contrast, in today’s Sunday Times Magazine Ping Coombs summarises the correct method. My paraphrased, shortened version: thoroughly wash rice. Soak in fresh cold water for 15 min, drain. Level washed rice in a saucepan, add 1 tsp veg oil & 1/2 tsp salt. Rest tip of pinkie finger just on top of rice, add cold water up to the first knuckle. Bring to boil, turn down heat and simmer until all water absorbed. Cover and turn down heat to lowest setting for 8 min. Turn off heat, leave for 30 min, fluff with fork.

Next time, I want to do it her way. That’s Ping Coombs, double winner of Masterchef! I mean, who would you trust? I’m not even sure Dad remembers Mrs Tang’s method correctly and obviously we can’t ask her. But then, being not very good at cooking rice, I know I’ll lack the conviction and fear serving up a claggy mush. So Mrs Tang’s method it is.

Lord of the Flies is really great! The new four-part TV adaptation, I mean. Dad and I started watching this in the old fashioned way - one episode per week. When I called home, Jimmy said that if Dad has iPlayer we could watch it all - if he has an HDML cable.

‘Does he have one?’ Jimmy asked. I said I didn’t care know. ‘Oh, he must have. Just plug in the HDML cable and—’ On he went, saying ‘HDML cable’ more than was desirable until I insisted that Dad and I wanted to watch it one episode per week, that it was quaint and old fashioned (like the Moon) and OUR PREFERENCE.

Underdone toast is officially called ‘yellow toast’. I learnt this not from Dad but a medical professional when we ended up waiting for seven hours in an ambulance, parked outside the hospital, before Dad could get checked over. (He is fine now!)

Dad was mainly asleep but I was sitting there, gaunt and hollow and propped up in a seat in the vehicle. Who’d want to be faced with that, for the lion’s share of their shift? But I can’t praise these professionals highly enough. They were beyond kind and if they were sick of the sight of me, they didn’t show it. In fact they chattered (seemingly) happily the whole night.

As dawn broke, a lovely young woman who I think was called Rhianwyn (I was delirious by this point) was describing her favourite treat after a night shift - ‘A bath, a mug of tea and yellow toast’ - while her colleague showed me pictures on his phone of the best Canadian lakes to visit (I really want to go to Canada).

I’m going to start having my toast yellow from now on, in Rhianwyn’s honour.

The 1970s were dangerous times. Dad and I love a good chat/reminisce, and he still reckons it was fine to give me - as a little kid - the mercury from a broken thermometer to play with. Still alive, aren’t I? Yeah - just - but probably poisoned on the inside!

We’ve also been reminiscing about our chemistry set, which was our favourite thing to do together in about 1977. Remember these?

We set it up in our cellar, which was also Dad’s darkroom (he was a freelance photographer in the days of black and white photography with all the trays of stinky chemicals).

Googling it now, I read that ‘1970s children's chemistry sets often contained real, sometimes hazardous chemicals and glassware, such as test tubes, plus burners and in some cases materials for creating reactions like smoke or sparks.’

Exciting! And what fun we had, playing with corrosive acids and putting a match to hydrogen and making it burn the house down go pop. But then alas:

‘…Sets began to decline in popularity due to safety regulations.’

i.e., no one wanted children to be poisoned or burnt.

Modern life, eh? You can’t do anything. But I survived it, and so did my father. So maybe he does know best?

Still not sure about that rice method though.

Love,

Fiona xx

PS I leave you with the exciting news that my new novel, The Woman Who Turned Her Life Around, is out this Friday - Feb 20. It’s the story of Josie and Shane, 80s bandmates who fell out and went their separate ways after a terrible break-up. When their third bandmate dies, they’re about to be flung back together on a tour that’ll make or break them.

Hello Scarborough! Bridlington! Pontefract! Fancy jumping aboard? You can order your copy here!