So funny and frighteningly accurate. And YES despite fretting about not being able to sample in person, I eventually caved and bought The Balm. In 2 colours. I was unsure of texture at first (seemed to just sit on skin) but now I do really like it. Thanks for this very hilarious and honest overview!!
I don't know the new Jones Road Bobbi balm, but... I do know the Anastasia Beverley Hills blush stick in Latte! Fiona, honestly, it is lovely. I'm sure it matches almost any skin, and gives a nice warm glow. I use it on my eyelids too, smudge it on my nose, forehead, chin, boob cleavage (just kidding, although why not?). It's great alone, but if you want a little more rosy glow then MAC Glowy Play Cushion Blush (I should have had this job, making up names for makeup! Oh well, in a next life), in That's Peachy. Mix a smudgeon over the Latte and voilà! Glowy fresh faced Fiona! For more shine add Baume Essentiel in Rouge Frais by Chanel. Trust me! Healthy, fresh-faced. Use a big brush to blend. Easy peasy. They last forever, too. Are you sold?!
While I can’t vouch for the mice-stymieing properties of Bobbi’s products, I can attest that shoving clumps of steel wool into said kitchen holes will keep them at bay rather nicely. Don’t try daubing your cheeks with them, though.
Ha - I'll bear that in mind Dan. We are away in London for a few days - I keep picturing the mice having an absolute field day - free run of the flat, the blighters!
I too have fallen for the myth of ‘miracle’ balm. I bought three of the mini ones. Most of them are, indeed, imperceptible so what is the point? The others, if you pile on about twenty layers, which takes forever, just about replicate normal blusher but with the added bonus of gluing your hair to your face. And I now realise that, despite what Bobbi assures us, only twenty-year-olds can carry off a shiny face. I tried this so you don’t have to…xxx
You do make this old biddy giggle on a Friday morning, thanks for that, but I do have a bone to pick with you Fiona.
Remember Crimpit? You wrote about it some months ago and I had never heard of the damn thing until your article. Ever since it has been following me around like an annoying ear-worm! Working away on my laptop and an ad pops up for, yep, you've guessed. Watching the telly and oh look, it's that thing again! Go into the local town shopping and guess what is in the window of the local hardware store, yep, right in one!
What have you done Fiona? I don't want one. I don't need one. If I want to crimp I will use my fingers like I have always done - it's effective and cheaper! Tongue in cheek rant over.
I think it’s a subliminal reminder of having our grubby faces dabbed with mum’s spit on a tissue when we were kids. (Or was that just my mum?!)
I spotted the balm on a friend’s daughter when we went for a meal last week and she was just shinier than everyone else at the table.
Loving ‘Tis The Season, Fi. Half way through. Great fun.
Oh, and that thing you wondered about on Notes re ‘the full experience’ did show up on the email footer, so I fear it must be generic Substack wording. Pestering us to improve the quality of our lives!
Every time with you I end up laughing like crazy! Yes make up counters - or more likely ads - always get me spending. I can't ever remember buying foundation that doesn't look like a mask! Cool or warm undertones? I can't decide! And a splurge on makeup - despite the fact I never go anywhere nice - is the sort of thing I do at night, bored, and then only remember when it arrives. Same with looking for "the perfect jeans" - although I think spending £190 on jeans would definitely be "hide the credit card statement" time. When what I really need is new dishes and a new cutlery set. But that seems such a boring purchase! I don't think I could cope with hair being stuck to my face - or my lips - but do spill if Bobbi snares you! (She is fabulous!)
Just the funniest and best read first thing in the morning to get the day off to a good start! A wooden TV - I'm cracking up. I've been tempted by that Bobbi Brown glossiness too, but thank goodness for Pamela Anderson with her "no make up" look. She's set the bar low, I've followed it...and it's a money saver. However I do suspect that she might be using a little teensy dash of that multi purpose Bobbi Brown stuff. (D'you think a blush lipstick would do the same job ?) The other hard sell comes from Trinny. Can't open instagram or Facebook without Trinny popping up and flogging something which she promises that I absolutely NEED, NOW. Back to attempting to look like Pammie sans any slap at all.
Don't get me started on Trinny! She's also hounding me - but I find her over selling has the opposite effect - more of a repellent effect - and am never tempted! Sadly (for my bank account) Bobbi doesn't repel... xx
It’s always seemed a bit suspect to me - I mean, why not call it Snake Oil? But then it’s Bobbi, and she has glasses and I look like a corpse, so… maybe? Can’t wait to find out what you think - I demand a full review with photos!!
Luv, your work always leaves me in stitches. “Pressure wash my gut?” I want that too! We overgrown toddlers otherwise known as men have our own weaknesses, I swear. I can go into a hardware store needing a little box containing about sixty deck screws and come out ready to fill a contractor’s van to the gunwales with enough tools, wiring, copper tubing and other things that I never knew I desperately needed. And luv, please don’t be intimidated by this Bobbi Brown person. When I joined the Navy in 1984 they issued me a pair of glasses that looked just like hers. We called them “birth control glasses,” I assure you with very good reason!
No, luv, I ditched them long ago. I took boot camp in San Diego in 1984 and the ladies of ill repute walking on Nimitz Boulevard wouldn’t even give me a second look!
“Yet I have gone to a beauty counter to buy a single mascara and left the store in financial ruins.” … Yes! Hilarious and absolutely my life 😂🫣
I'm so glad I'm not the only easily conned fool 🤪 xx
So funny and frighteningly accurate. And YES despite fretting about not being able to sample in person, I eventually caved and bought The Balm. In 2 colours. I was unsure of texture at first (seemed to just sit on skin) but now I do really like it. Thanks for this very hilarious and honest overview!!
Thanks Sue! Glad I'm not the only one who's obsessed! And VERY glad you like it x
I don't know the new Jones Road Bobbi balm, but... I do know the Anastasia Beverley Hills blush stick in Latte! Fiona, honestly, it is lovely. I'm sure it matches almost any skin, and gives a nice warm glow. I use it on my eyelids too, smudge it on my nose, forehead, chin, boob cleavage (just kidding, although why not?). It's great alone, but if you want a little more rosy glow then MAC Glowy Play Cushion Blush (I should have had this job, making up names for makeup! Oh well, in a next life), in That's Peachy. Mix a smudgeon over the Latte and voilà! Glowy fresh faced Fiona! For more shine add Baume Essentiel in Rouge Frais by Chanel. Trust me! Healthy, fresh-faced. Use a big brush to blend. Easy peasy. They last forever, too. Are you sold?!
Cesca xx
I think I am Cesca! Thanks for this. Am a total sucker for a beauty rec. Anything to be less corpse like xx
Also super de-corpsifying and quick (if the colors available suit you) is Erborian CC creme. Easy and lovely and glowy.
Let me know! It takes a few seconds and glowwwww…
While I can’t vouch for the mice-stymieing properties of Bobbi’s products, I can attest that shoving clumps of steel wool into said kitchen holes will keep them at bay rather nicely. Don’t try daubing your cheeks with them, though.
Ha - I'll bear that in mind Dan. We are away in London for a few days - I keep picturing the mice having an absolute field day - free run of the flat, the blighters!
I too have fallen for the myth of ‘miracle’ balm. I bought three of the mini ones. Most of them are, indeed, imperceptible so what is the point? The others, if you pile on about twenty layers, which takes forever, just about replicate normal blusher but with the added bonus of gluing your hair to your face. And I now realise that, despite what Bobbi assures us, only twenty-year-olds can carry off a shiny face. I tried this so you don’t have to…xxx
Yes it's horribly expensive for hair glue! Why do we fall for these things? I look forward to seeing you though, in all your balmed up beauty! x
You do make this old biddy giggle on a Friday morning, thanks for that, but I do have a bone to pick with you Fiona.
Remember Crimpit? You wrote about it some months ago and I had never heard of the damn thing until your article. Ever since it has been following me around like an annoying ear-worm! Working away on my laptop and an ad pops up for, yep, you've guessed. Watching the telly and oh look, it's that thing again! Go into the local town shopping and guess what is in the window of the local hardware store, yep, right in one!
What have you done Fiona? I don't want one. I don't need one. If I want to crimp I will use my fingers like I have always done - it's effective and cheaper! Tongue in cheek rant over.
Oh Anne you're being hounded by the Crimpet, I am sorry! NO ONE NEEDS A CRIMPET! (And thanks - glad you enjoyed!) x
I think it’s a subliminal reminder of having our grubby faces dabbed with mum’s spit on a tissue when we were kids. (Or was that just my mum?!)
I spotted the balm on a friend’s daughter when we went for a meal last week and she was just shinier than everyone else at the table.
Loving ‘Tis The Season, Fi. Half way through. Great fun.
Oh, and that thing you wondered about on Notes re ‘the full experience’ did show up on the email footer, so I fear it must be generic Substack wording. Pestering us to improve the quality of our lives!
Really glad you enjoyed Wendy, thank you! Oh that is annoying re 'full experience' - I need to check that out xx
You can change it in publication settings, Fi. Just checked my own yesterday after spotting that!
Think I have managed Wendy, thank you! x
Every time with you I end up laughing like crazy! Yes make up counters - or more likely ads - always get me spending. I can't ever remember buying foundation that doesn't look like a mask! Cool or warm undertones? I can't decide! And a splurge on makeup - despite the fact I never go anywhere nice - is the sort of thing I do at night, bored, and then only remember when it arrives. Same with looking for "the perfect jeans" - although I think spending £190 on jeans would definitely be "hide the credit card statement" time. When what I really need is new dishes and a new cutlery set. But that seems such a boring purchase! I don't think I could cope with hair being stuck to my face - or my lips - but do spill if Bobbi snares you! (She is fabulous!)
Thank you Linda! Yes, I think that's it - I can't bear to spend money on 'boring' (ie USEFUL) stuff... xx
Just the funniest and best read first thing in the morning to get the day off to a good start! A wooden TV - I'm cracking up. I've been tempted by that Bobbi Brown glossiness too, but thank goodness for Pamela Anderson with her "no make up" look. She's set the bar low, I've followed it...and it's a money saver. However I do suspect that she might be using a little teensy dash of that multi purpose Bobbi Brown stuff. (D'you think a blush lipstick would do the same job ?) The other hard sell comes from Trinny. Can't open instagram or Facebook without Trinny popping up and flogging something which she promises that I absolutely NEED, NOW. Back to attempting to look like Pammie sans any slap at all.
Don't get me started on Trinny! She's also hounding me - but I find her over selling has the opposite effect - more of a repellent effect - and am never tempted! Sadly (for my bank account) Bobbi doesn't repel... xx
It’s always seemed a bit suspect to me - I mean, why not call it Snake Oil? But then it’s Bobbi, and she has glasses and I look like a corpse, so… maybe? Can’t wait to find out what you think - I demand a full review with photos!!
I do have a horrible lurking feeling that I've been taken in! Think of all the mouse traps I could've bought for one tiddly pot of balm... x
Luv, your work always leaves me in stitches. “Pressure wash my gut?” I want that too! We overgrown toddlers otherwise known as men have our own weaknesses, I swear. I can go into a hardware store needing a little box containing about sixty deck screws and come out ready to fill a contractor’s van to the gunwales with enough tools, wiring, copper tubing and other things that I never knew I desperately needed. And luv, please don’t be intimidated by this Bobbi Brown person. When I joined the Navy in 1984 they issued me a pair of glasses that looked just like hers. We called them “birth control glasses,” I assure you with very good reason!
Birth control glasses! And now they are the height of chic. I hope you kept them - you were ahead of the curve!
No, luv, I ditched them long ago. I took boot camp in San Diego in 1984 and the ladies of ill repute walking on Nimitz Boulevard wouldn’t even give me a second look!